Opinions expressed in this piece are solely those of the author.
“Stay in your lane. I have you right where I want you.”
It was late. The day opened with a challenge. Unexpected news had come, and though I had peace, I still felt the weight. And then my phone chirped with this message from a friend.
“I was praying,” she said, “and I felt like this is what God told me. ‘Stay in your lane. Pray (there). Stay in that lane and season that you are in, and I will hear you.’”
If you listen to my segments on the James Golden radio show or read my essays regularly, you will know that I am a Christian, a simple, country girl who chose as a child to put her faith in God. If you are a long-time reader and follower of my blog or social media, you will also know that this caffeinated American mom has had countless chances to put God to the test and to find out, in the hardest times, whether or not he was real, or good, or kind. Whether he truly keeps his word.
What I found was transforming. I found that he does keep his word, that he’s wholly real, that he’s inestimably good, that he’s unfailingly kind. I also learned in real time that God hears and answers prayer and that he does, in fact, speak to his kids. Seeing his hand move in countless situations in response to my prayers, receiving the precise wisdom and insight exactly when I needed it gave me a confidence that can never be shaken. I live my life in peace.
But back, now, to “stay in your lane.”
The friend who sent me that message of encouragement? She’s my hairdresser. For years as I sat in her chair, I told her my triumphs and struggles. For years, she listened, offering me the great consolation of understanding and friendship. From her own lane in her tiny solo shop, she has enriched my life.
Just the other day, I had lunch with an older woman, herself a mother of two grown sons. She and her husband entered our lives during a tough stretch many years ago, and she taught this much younger mother life lessons I will never forget. Now as she heads into old age, her maternal heart and wisdom are still gifts to me. Our paths have long diverged, but still, from her own lane, she encourages me.
My husband’s office is located just up the street from the local coffee shop. For this caffeinated mom, it is a happy situation. I take it as a sign of divine favor every time I pop in for a French press, a sugar cookie, or a bowl of white chicken chili to go. The aroma of fresh-ground coffee ribbons through the air, and the baristas know me by name. From their own fragrant lane, they offer some sunshine and bliss with three shots of caffeine. I am grateful.
One of my sons has worked in several different offices in several different states. In each one, there has been an older, motherly woman who has shown kindness to him, and favor. From their respective lanes, they’ve blessed him (and me) with their love. He in his lane, they in theirs, and when they merged for a bit, their goodness was a godsend.
Now, you. Whatever lane you are in, wherever you’ve been placed, stay there for now. If you find yourself in a lane or situation that you don’t like, don’t swerve from it too quickly. It’s likely that you’ve been placed there for a reason. There is something for you to learn, something for you to do or give, and if you embrace the experience, you just may be surprised at what comes your way.
Often, unpleasant situations prepare us for greater things down the road. If we circumvent the learning process, we may cheat ourselves of the opportunity to gain the wisdom, knowledge, and experience that we need to succeed in a different lane at a different time. Just because you are there right now doesn’t mean you’re locked in. Keep dreaming your dreams and hold still so you can receive what you need to help them come true.
One other piece of wisdom that I would give my own sons is this–do not envy someone else’s lane. Don’t do it. Discontentment and jealousy will rot your very bones and rob you of joy and peace. That is too high a price to pay. If you are tempted to think, “I’m not (that person). Therefore, I am less valuable, and what I give doesn’t matter,” then you need a mindset shift.
You are right. You are not that other person. But he/she isn’t you, either, and does not have what you offer to the world. If you linger in envy or resentment, the gifts that you hold will turn dusty and dry. We need what you have to give.
One more time, hear me say it. “Stay in your lane.” Resolve today that you will walk in peace, live in joy, and offer the gift of love from your lane. God bless you, my precious fellow citizens.
You can hear America’s small, caffeinated mom every week on the James Golden Radio Show. From her colorful lane, she offers humor, wisdom, and courage with your morning coffee. Tune in!
