There are Florida Man stories.

And then there are Florida Man stories that make you wish Florida Man had remained an only child.

Sheriff Grady Judd of Polk County appeared on Friday’s show with a simple warning before telling this particular tale:

“Get a grip.”

That wasn’t sufficient.

He should have told us to put down the coffee, sit somewhere comfortable and make sure there were no small children within earshot.

According to Judd’s account, deputies were called to a domestic disturbance involving a 46-year-old Lakeland woman and her 22-year-old son. The son was accused of hitting his mother, which is already more than enough material for the average day in Florida.

Then he got arrested.

And apparently decided that if he was going down, everybody was going down.

The son told investigators he’d been having sex with his mother since he was 18.

The deputies, presumably hoping they had misunderstood something, asked Mom.

According to Judd, she confirmed it.

How many times?

“Only about 100 times.”

Only.

About.

One hundred.

Sheriff Judd’s response was considerably more restrained than mine:

“That’s nasty.”

Yes, Sheriff.

I believe you’ve solved this one.

But wait.

There is a husband.

Investigators asked him whether he knew his wife was allegedly sleeping with her son.

Absolutely not, he said.

Although, come to think of it, he did find it a little suspicious that the two of them would go into the master bedroom together and lock the door.

Sir.

I don’t know how to tell you this.

That wasn’t book club.

The mother and son were charged with incest, and Judd said she was also charged with adultery.

There are moments when I love this job.

There are other moments when I realize I now know things I can never unknow.

This was the latter.

And because it was Friday, I was determined not to spend the entire hour wallowing in the hard news. We’d had plenty of that all week. I wanted music. Culture. A little fun.

Fortunately, John Fetterman came along.

TMZ caught up with the Pennsylvania senator and asked him about the controversy involving Macklemore.

Fetterman didn’t seem terribly familiar with him.

“I thought that might be like a British car or something.”

I lost it.

The new Macklemore.

Beautiful machine.

Hand-stitched leather interior.

Walnut dashboard.

Terrible resale value.

I don’t know whether Fetterman meant to be funny. It doesn’t matter. Sometimes the comedy gods simply place a microphone in front of the right person.

He eventually figured out that Macklemore was, as Fetterman put it, “a musician of some kind,” and went on to make his point about the politics being injected into musical performances.

But I was still at the dealership.

“Yes, I’d like to test-drive the new Macklemore.”

“Excellent choice, sir. Sedan or convertible?”

Music was all over Friday’s show.

We had “Heartache Tonight,” released in 1979 from the Eagles’ The Long Run album.

And there’s a great story behind that song.

J.D. Souther — whom we’d just talked about Thursday on the anniversary of his death — was visiting Glenn Frey in Los Angeles. They were listening to Sam Cooke and fooling around with the beginnings of the song. Frey eventually called Bob Seger and sang him what they had.

Seger helped give them what became the chorus.

Think about that.

Souther.

Glenn Frey.

Bob Seger.

A telephone.

No committee meetings. No consultants. No focus group.

Just a few ridiculously talented people bouncing a song around until “Heartache Tonight” emerges.

Not bad for a phone call.

Then we landed in the 1980s.

The Human League.

“Don’t You Want Me.”

One of those songs where you hear about three seconds and suddenly you’re somewhere you haven’t been in 40 years.

Music does that.

You don’t remember what you had for lunch Tuesday, but somebody plays the opening of a song from 1981 and suddenly you remember the car you were driving, the girl you were dating and probably the shirt you were wearing.

Although looking at photographs from the ’80s, perhaps some shirts are better forgotten.

That’s what I like about Fridays.

We’ve got enough serious things happening in this country to keep all of us arguing until Christmas.

Sometimes you need an hour where a Florida sheriff tells you a story you desperately wish weren’t true, a United States senator mistakes a rapper for British transportation, and an old song reminds you of a completely different time in your life.

And somewhere in Lakeland, Florida, there is one husband who will never again hear the words “We’re going into the bedroom” quite the same way.

Sheriff Judd was right.

Get a grip.

And for heaven’s sake, knock first.

— Bo