TOTAL BS!
HGTV announced Monday that it has greenlit a new home-renovation series documenting President Donald Trump’s ongoing restoration of the White House, giving viewers unprecedented access to what the network is calling “America’s most ambitious fixer-upper.”
The limited series, Fixer Upper: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, will follow Trump as he tackles a property he recently described as being in “very bad condition” when he returned to Washington.
“Frankly, it was a ‘dump!’” Trump said.
According to the network, each episode will focus on a different challenge facing the 226-year-old property, from aging stonework and chipped columns to flooring, bathrooms and the sort of remodeling surprises that inevitably appear once a homeowner starts opening walls.
The premiere, “Good Bones, Terrible Previous Owners,” begins with Trump walking the North Portico alongside a contractor, tapping suspiciously on columns and repeatedly asking who signed off on this.
Episode Two, “Open Concept,” reportedly required several additional meetings with the Secret Service after the president suggested removing three walls because “nobody uses that room anyway.”
HGTV says viewers can also expect the traditional renovation-show budget segment.
“What do you think this is going to cost?” the host asks.
“Not much,” Trump replies.
The camera then cuts to Congress.
Producers reportedly knew they had a hit during filming of the Lincoln Bathroom episode, when Trump stared at a tile sample for several seconds before announcing that Abraham Lincoln “would have loved marble.”
The season finale will feature the traditional HGTV reveal.
Trump and Melania will stand outside with their eyes closed while producers count down from three.
They will turn around.
It will still be the White House.
But considerably more gold.
HGTV has not confirmed reports that Season Two will follow Trump as he attempts to flip the Federal Reserve.
