TOTAL BS!
President Donald Trump has proposed resolving the increasingly complicated dispute over the future of the Kennedy Center by relocating the entire performing arts institution to Mar-a-Lago, according to White House Cultural Relocation Coordinator Preston W. Carrington III.
The proposal would preserve the Kennedy Center, eliminate its deteriorating Washington building and provide what Trump described as a “much better location.”
“Palm Beach is beautiful,” Trump reportedly explained. “People want to be there. Nobody says, ‘Honey, let’s spend February on the Potomac.’ They don’t say it.”
Under the preliminary plan, the existing Kennedy Center would be relocated to approximately four acres near Mar-a-Lago, although Carrington acknowledged that the phrase “relocated” currently means demolishing the Washington building and constructing something completely different in Florida.
Trump said the new facility would retain the Kennedy name.
Mostly.
“I like Kennedy,” Trump said. “Kennedy was very popular. Trump is very popular. So you could have the Trump-Kennedy Center. Or Kennedy-Trump. We’ll look at the polling.”
The president said the Florida location would solve several problems simultaneously.
The Kennedy Center would no longer require expensive repairs.
Washington would gain additional waterfront property.
And performers arriving for shows would have immediate access to championship golf, shrimp cocktail and several hundred people willing to explain the economy to them from the Mar-a-Lago patio.
Deputy Assistant Secretary for Presidential Arts Infrastructure Randall P. Worthington said the administration is also studying whether the Kennedy Center Honors ceremony could be relocated.
One proposal would replace the traditional rainbow medallion with a gold medallion featuring a small silhouette of Palm Beach.
Recipients would be required to attend dinner afterward.
Jackets required. No cargo shorts.
Critics immediately questioned whether a national memorial to President John F. Kennedy could legally be relocated from Washington to a private Florida club.
Trump dismissed those concerns. “JFK loved Florida,” he reportedly said. “Everybody knows that.”
Preservationists also objected to demolishing the existing building.
Trump said they were missing the point. “We’re not demolishing it. We’re moving it very quickly.”
Architects have already begun preliminary designs for the new performing arts complex.
Milton B. Farnsworth, acting director of the newly formed Federal Performing Arts Relocation Office, said the proposed facility includes three theaters, a concert hall, an enormous ballroom that nobody remembers requesting and a gift shop selling commemorative plaques reading:
KENNEDY CENTER
SAVED BY TRUMP
YOU’RE WELCOME
Farnsworth said the administration hopes to complete construction before anyone figures out whether this is allowed.
The White House did not respond to our request for comment because we wisely never sent one.
Total BS is SATIRE. The news is real. The TOTAL BS is intentional.
For the real BS read this — GOP senator blocks bill to stop Trump from demolishing Kennedy Center
