TOTAL BS!
WASHINGTON — The White House announced Friday that its newly launched online arcade will receive an emergency expansion pack after administration officials were reportedly inundated with complaints from Americans demanding additional ways to waste time while technically learning about public policy.
The expansion follows Thursday’s debut of the official White House Arcade, which currently allows Americans to build a border wall, patrol the Rio Grande, clean up school lunches, fly legislation through Washington and stuff money into Trump Accounts.
According to people who absolutely should not be trusted with this information, President Trump became interested in expanding the arcade after being informed that none of the original games allowed players to fire anyone.
“That doesn’t sound right,” Trump reportedly said.
Developers immediately began work.
The first new title, YOU’RE FIRED!, places players behind the Resolute Desk and challenges them to remove underperforming federal officials before CNN can book them as contributors.
Bonus points are awarded if the departing official writes a tell-all book within 72 hours.
Another game, DOGE Invaders, requires players to defend Washington from an endless formation of federal programs descending from the top of the screen.
Each destroyed program splits into three smaller programs.
Nobody has figured out how to win.
Immigration hard-liners are expected to enjoy ICE ICE BABY, in which Tom Homan races through sanctuary cities while Democratic mayors place traffic cones, television cameras and federal judges in his path.
A fourth title, WHO SAID THAT?, challenges players to determine whether increasingly unbelievable quotations came from an actual member of Congress or were made up by TOTAL BS.
Early testers reportedly found the game nearly impossible.
The most difficult level features Rep. Jasmine Crockett.
Editors at The Daily BS have reportedly requested that players stop calling the newsroom for hints.
The administration is also reportedly considering TRUTH SOCIAL TYPER, a speed challenge in which players must reproduce a presidential post before Trump publishes another one.
White House developers said the game currently has no known winner.
Democrats immediately condemned the expansion as an outrageous misuse of government resources before several congressional offices quietly asked when the multiplayer version would be available.
The White House declined to comment on rumors of one final game currently being tested under the working title:
SHUTDOWN: CONGRESS DOES NOTHING
Developers say the game requires no controls.
It just sits there.
This is TOTAL BS — satire inspired by real news. The news is real. The TOTAL BS is intentional.
For the real BS story read this — [White House launches MAGA arcade with border wall, deportation and MAHA games]
