TOTAL BS!
CHICAGO — A four-day socialist gathering featured a real panel Saturday titled “Health Fascism, Body Politics, and the Anti-State State.”
After the Socialism 2026 panel warned against the politics of dieting, bodily “optimization” and the “fantasy of being fitter than the fascists,” conference organizers have reportedly decided to put those principles into practice.
Author Da’Shaun L. Harrison argued that diet culture trains people in “obedience,” “self-denial” and “discipline,” while podcaster Beatrice Adler-Bolton rejected the idea that the left should try to become “fitter” than its political enemies.
“In fact, the more dysgenic, the better, I think,” Adler-Bolton said.
So naturally, organizers have now opened America’s first anti-fascist fitness center. Unlike traditional gyms, members are specifically discouraged from showing improvement.
“We don’t ask how much you can bench,” gym director Carrie Marx explained. “We ask why the bench feels entitled to judge you.”
The center has treadmills, but they don’t go anywhere. “That’s intentional,” Marx said.
Weights are available, although lifting them repeatedly is discouraged as “bodily optimization.”
The gym’s only personal trainer was reassigned after telling someone, “Great job — you’re getting stronger.” Conference officials immediately recognized the microaggression.
Membership is free, results are discouraged and nobody keeps score.
The grand opening was declared a success after organizers confirmed that not a single member had lost a pound.
This is TOTAL BS — satire built around very real comments at Socialism 2026 about “health fascism,” diet culture and the “fantasy of being fitter than the fascists.” The news is real. The TOTAL BS is intentional.
For the real BS read this — Socialism 2026 speaker declares war on diets, BMI and Ozempic as ‘body fascism’
