TOTAL BS!
MIAMI-DADE — A South Florida homeowners association has approved an emergency amendment to its community rules after discovering that its 184-page governing document somehow failed to specifically prohibit residents from throwing buckets of human feces at their neighbors.
The action follows the arrest of a Miami-Dade woman accused of throwing a bucket containing human waste on a neighbor she suspected of having an affair with her husband.
HOA officials immediately reviewed the bylaws.
Boats in driveways: prohibited. Grass over four inches: prohibited. Garbage cans visible after 7 p.m.: absolutely prohibited.
Buckets of caca deployed during marital disputes: Nothing.
“We were stunned,” the HOA president said. “We have three pages governing acceptable mailbox colors, but apparently nobody anticipated this.”
The board called an emergency meeting and unanimously adopted Rule 47-B: Human Waste and Other Neighborly Disagreements.
Residents may no longer throw, launch, catapult, pour or otherwise deliver human feces onto another resident or their property. Repeat offenders may lose pool privileges.
One resident immediately objected, asking whether the rule also applies to renters. The board has scheduled another six-hour meeting.
This is TOTAL BS satire. The Miami-Dade arrest and the alleged bucket of “caca” are real. The HOA emergency is intentional nonsense.
For the real BS read this — Miami woman accused of throwing a bucket of ‘caca’ on neighbor over suspected affair
