TOTAL BS!
WASHINGTON — Federal officials issued an emergency nationwide recall Thursday after discovering that as much as $5,000 in government money may have accidentally been headed toward individual American taxpayers.
Authorities described the incident as “extremely unusual” and urged citizens not to spend, deposit or become emotionally attached to the money.
“We are investigating how this happened,” one visibly shaken congressional aide said. “Normally the money travels the other way.”
The crisis began after President Donald Trump proposed a $5,000 dividend for every adult American citizen if Republicans retain control of Congress.
Within minutes, Washington officials who had not expressed serious concern about federal spending since approximately 1997 began warning about deficits, inflation and the national debt.
Emergency meetings were reportedly convened across Capitol Hill after analysts discovered that a married couple could potentially receive $10,000.
“That’s ten thousand dollars just sitting in somebody’s house,” one budget expert explained. “They could use it for groceries, a mortgage payment or even something they personally want. We simply don’t have safeguards for that.”
The Treasury Department has established a special hotline for Americans who encounter any federal money attempting to enter their bank accounts.
Citizens are advised not to touch it.
“Remain calm, step away from the funds and contact Washington immediately,” officials said. “Trained personnel will arrive and return the money to a federal program where it belongs.”
The IRS has reportedly offered assistance and says agents are specially trained in removing money from private residences.
Congressional leaders stressed that the recall is precautionary.
“There is no reason to panic,” one official said. “We are confident that, with bipartisan cooperation, we can stop this money before it reaches the American people.”
TOTAL BS is satire.
For the real BS read this — Trump’s plan to cut $5,000 checks for Americans not landing with many midterm convention attendees – The Daily Bo Snerdley
