TOTAL BS!

CBS traveled nearly 6,000 miles to Liberia to investigate migrants deported there under President Donald Trump’s third-country removal program — only to encounter a humanitarian crisis nobody could have anticipated: The hotel is near the beach.

Worse, TOTAL BS has found no evidence that waffles are complimentary.

Liberia has agreed to accept as many as 1,200 third-country deportees over a year, and migrants interviewed by CBS have described uncertainty, separation from family and concerns about what happens next.

But conditions may be even more harrowing than viewers realized.

“Yesterday I opened the curtains and there it was,” Venezuelan deportee Juan Moore-Tyme told TOTAL BS, staring solemnly toward the Atlantic.

“The ocean.”

He paused. “Do you know what salt air does to your hair?”

CBS immediately dispatched another camera crew.

Investigators soon uncovered additional indignities: palm trees providing inconsistent shade, balconies exposing guests to excessive fresh air and a hotel employee allegedly asking whether someone preferred coffee or tea without first providing an immigration attorney.

Then came breakfast.

“We found eggs,” CBS correspondent Ima Fretting reported gravely beside the buffet. “But serious questions remain about who scrambled them, whether toast was available and, perhaps most troubling, whether guests were expected to tip.”

One migrant was reportedly offered a fruit plate. TOTAL BS has been unable to determine whether the pineapple was locally sourced.

White House spokesman Will B. Fine stared at photographs of the accommodations before asking: “Wait. This is the bad part?”

CBS is expected to remain beachfront until somebody gets to the bottom of the omelet station.

TOTAL BS is satire. The news is real. The TOTAL BS is intentional.

For the real BS story read this — CBS flies all the way to Liberia to find deportees ‘in limbo’ — at a beachfront hotel