Dem congresswoman planned a road trip to that ‘weird lesbian bar’ — then it all fell apart

BS BULLETIN:

Rep. Rosa DeLauro’s official X account announced plans for a group trip to the Massachusetts lesbian bar currently tearing up the internet.
The Connecticut Democrat called it the “weird lesbian bar in western mass” and told interested travelers to DM her because she “can’t talk here.”
A few hours later came the update: “trip cancelled, no one wanted to mask.”

There are news stories that become stranger the more you investigate them.

Then there’s the lesbian bar in Greenfield, Massachusetts.

Now Rep. Rosa DeLauro has entered the chat.

The Connecticut Democrat’s official X account posted an unusual invitation Wednesday as the saga surrounding Last Ditch Bar and Arts Venue exploded across social media.

“getting a group together to visit the weird lesbian bar in western mass dm if interested, can’t talk here,” DeLauro’s account posted.

Yes, that’s the congresswoman’s official account.

And yes, she called it the “weird lesbian bar.”

The proposed congressional field trip didn’t last long.

A few hours later, DeLauro delivered the devastating logistical update:

“trip cancelled, no one wanted to mask.”

To understand why that sentence is so perfect, we have to revisit what may be America’s most complicated bar story.

Last Ditch opened last year in Greenfield as a bar for, in its own description, “dykes, transsexuals, gender freaks, workers, and their friends.”

Among its rules: Patrons were expected to wear a properly fitted KN-95 mask or better.

Not in 2020.

In 2026.

The bar has been struggling financially, so management made what might ordinarily seem like a modest business decision.

On Saturday nights only, masks would become optional.

“It is with love we inform our immunocompromised disabled divas we will be opening Saturday nights as mask optional,” the bar announced Aug. 31.

The new policy was not received with love.

The Instagram post attracted 442 comments.

One critic accused the bar of being “complicit in a mass disabling event.”

Another said people like the owners “kill disabled people.”

A third went considerably further, writing: “I hope your venue gets firebombed.”

The fury came despite the Globe reporting that Greenfield hadn’t recorded a COVID case in more than two months.

The bar apologized.

That caused another problem.

The apology graphic didn’t contain alt-text for visually impaired readers.

“This is not an accessible post,” one critic complained, setting off another round of accusations of ableism.

And we’re still nowhere near the strangest part.

Three housemates in their 20s originally founded Last Ditch. Two have since stepped away.

One enrolled in clown school.

The remaining owner, 26-year-old Jackie Matellian, told a community meeting that she had spent six months living in her truck, was working four jobs and was personally responsible for paying back the $50,000 loan used to launch the business.

She also said she never really wanted to run the place herself.

“I don’t think I’m doing a very good job,” Matellian said as she began crying beneath her mask.

That did not win over her critics.

One participant accused Matellian of shedding “WHITE THEY THEM TEARS” and called her emotional response “incredibly racist and deflecting behavior.”

The mediation session lasted 3½ hours.

It began with a calming breathing exercise.

It did not remain calm.

At one point, critics participating over Zoom objected to the fact that one of the mediators was a white therapist.

When someone suggested one particularly vocal critic attend the next meeting, he objected to being asked to provide additional “emotional and physical labor” for free and called the request “incredibly disingenuous and racist.”

The facilitator responded:

“Then I think, unfortunately, this meeting has failed you.”

By the time everyone left, almost nothing had been resolved — including the $3,900 in back rent the landlord wanted.

Then came the real test: the bar’s second mask-optional Saturday.

The dance floor was practically empty.

The Globe found only a handful of customers hanging around, despite $10 cocktails and music from a DJ named Harsh Noise Boyfriend.

Just after midnight, there was one patron left at the bar.

That patron suggested a Lady Gaga theme night.

The bartender shot it down.

“Gaga is canceled,” she said. “Gaga is Zionist.”

By this week, the story had escaped Western Massachusetts completely.

The Globe says its original report became by far its best-performing story of the year and generated roughly 1,000 subscriptions in a single day. Ted Cruz weighed in. Former Massachusetts Gov. Jane Swift suggested the Globe send a reporter back Saturday because there was so much interest in road trips. Sex columnist Dan Savage declared Last Ditch “the most famous bar in the world” and suggested selling T-shirts.

And then came Rosa.

Even Wall Street Journal reporter Natalie Andrews couldn’t resist after seeing DeLauro’s proposed excursion.

“Can we get media pool coverage for this,” she asked.

Sadly, there will apparently be no pool.

There won’t even be a carpool.

Nobody wanted to mask.

MY QUICK TAKE

I tried to find the joke to add here.

Then I got to the part where the communist-inspired lesbian bar requires KN-95s, one founder went to clown school, the remaining owner lives in her truck, an apology caused an alt-text scandal, a 3½-hour mediation session produced “WHITE THEY THEM TEARS,” Lady Gaga was canceled for Zionism, the DJ is named Harsh Noise Boyfriend — and Rosa DeLauro couldn’t find anybody willing to go because they’d have to wear masks.

I surrender.

The news has defeated satire.