The Daily BS • Bo Snerdley Cuts Through It!
The Daily BS • Bo Snerdley Cuts Through It!

Get my Daily BS twice-a-day news stack directly to your email.


Secret Service proposes replacing presidential motorcade with golf carts at new retreat

by

TOTAL BS!

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump’s proposal to establish a presidential retreat at his West Palm Beach golf club has prompted a review of security and transportation procedures, including a plan to replace traditional presidential motorcades with specially equipped golf carts.

Trump has suggested that Trump International Golf Club could serve as a Florida alternative to Camp David, providing a secure location for meetings with foreign leaders and presidential retreats.

The president has pointed to the property’s proximity to Palm Beach International Airport, its security advantages and the absence of surrounding high-rise buildings.

The Secret Service is reportedly examining how existing presidential transportation protocols could be adapted to a facility designed primarily for golf.

Under the proposed arrangement, the president would travel between meeting facilities in an armored electric golf cart accompanied by a security detail operating in matching vehicles.

The presidential cart would feature bullet-resistant panels, encrypted communications, reinforced tires and a beverage cooler capable of maintaining a temperature of 38 degrees.

The agency is also reviewing whether the presidential seal should be mounted on the front of the vehicle or attached to the roof, where it would be more visible to visiting dignitaries.

A separate cart would transport senior White House advisers, while another would carry emergency medical equipment and the nuclear football. Officials have reportedly rejected an early suggestion that the nuclear football be stored in the presidential cart’s rear golf-bag compartment.

The proposal would also establish new security procedures for foreign leaders visiting the retreat.

Heads of state would be assigned golf carts according to diplomatic rank, with members of the Group of Seven receiving priority access to vehicles equipped with windshields.

Visiting leaders would be prohibited from operating their own carts without completing a brief security orientation.

One issue still under review involves the traditional presidential motorcade’s right of way.

Under preliminary guidelines, all golf carts would be required to yield immediately to the president, except when a golfer is attempting a putt of less than six feet.

The Secret Service is also considering a temporary suspension of the customary rule requiring players to remain silent during another golfer’s backswing.

Officials say the restriction could interfere with agents shouting warnings during an emergency.

The proposal has generated additional logistical questions, including whether presidential security vehicles should be permitted on the greens and who would be responsible for repairing damage caused by emergency maneuvers.

A preliminary agreement would assign that responsibility to the National Park Service.

The White House has not announced a timetable for implementing the transportation plan.

However, officials familiar with the review say the Secret Service has already identified one significant operational concern: the president’s cart would need to travel considerably faster than the standard 15-mile-per-hour speed limit.

The agency is reportedly prepared to authorize a higher speed, provided the president agrees not to challenge visiting heads of state to races.

TOTAL BS is SATIRE!  For the real BS read this —